Last Vegas. The Flaccid Four ride again.

The Qantas movie guide lauded Last Vegas  as a “Star Studded Fun Fest”.

I suspect they meant to say  “Steaming Shit Heap”.

To be fair to Qantas, it had Stars. They were Studded throughout,  Fun was had (at our expense),  and a stupendous quantity of Fest was on offer.

One of the more interesting scenes in Last Vegas

One of the more interesting scenes in Last Vegas

After we stepped out of the cinema my son observed that he found the characters and story in Anchorman 2, far more believable,  consistent and likeable  than those in Last Vegas.  I couldn’t agree more. How disappointing.

Because Last Vegas had a promising premise. Four friends in their 60s re-unite in Las Vegas after 45 years or so, to celebrate the marriage of the group’s confirmed bachelor (Douglas) – to a woman half his age. They engage in some hijinks, and a lot of learning and loving and reconnecting happens along the way.

Now this is what I call acting

Now this is what I call acting

You don’t often get to see star power of this calibre lined up – Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline play Billy, Paddy, Archie and Sam. There is some dark and unresolved pain between  Paddy and Billy. Which has several twists. It doesn’t belong here and is boring and contrived.

The addition of Mary Steenburgen as a sultry lounge singer / love interest was a low point for me, and robbed the film of the momentum it was building. Her dialog was so forced and the placement of her character so obvious to  serve the explanation of why Billy and Paddy were feuding that I gave up on the film at that point.

The film lost all hope right here. Only 75m to go.

The film lost all hope right here. Only 75m to go.

About 15m in. When I think on every scene involving women, they were poorly written, unbelievable, unfunny. They were even unsexy. If thats a word. Not even a big dollop of steaming hot transvestites lifted this rubbish. The four leads floated around like dilapidated shop mannequins. The one scene that had some tension and excitement, fizzled out in a sludgy mess of self righteousness.

All talk folks

All talk folks

A massive opportunity was missed here. Thus could have been The Hangover in Adult Diapers. A big, fat, messy, belly laugh blowout. This film should have celebrated the fact that old people are sillier, funnier, edgier, messier and dumber that young people. And so deserve to be seen more on screen. Instead it proved that old people are boring self-righteous shits, who should stay at home. Thanks guys.

I’m not sure if it was laziness or some effort to preserve the stars imaginary dignity but it just wasn’t funny. It wasn’t sad. It wasn’t interesting.

It wasn’t anything.

2 stars out of 10

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Categories: Comedy, Films

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1 reply

  1. Yeah, this review pretty much sums up how I also felt about it. Such a huge disappointment!

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